I am not a coward.

Well thanks, world.
You've done it once again.
I begged you to not let me get sucked back into any insanity, but of course I have proven to myself to be truly insane. And it's because of you.

Family, you're funny. Honestly, how do you expect me to react to all this bullshit you're putting me through right now. Am I supposed to be my normal, prissy little self, because I think not. You overestimate me all the time, and this is just another one of these times.

But for you (different person reference) I don't know where I would be without you right now. Thank you.

These pictures in my head. Of pain, of suffering, of remorse, of death. They all remind me of life, and how it has to keep moving forward. If I don't want it to move forward, it must be ended. But I see that as a coward way out, and would only be helping my mother win.

I do not hide
I am not a coward.

And I will prove it to you.
I will keep myself alive,
I will find a way to keep living ,
and I will move past all this, and truly become a better person.
But I can't do it without you.

Don't make me do it without you.
I'm scared of failure.